Drawing back on my life(I should not even look back upon it), I have suffered depression a few times. I have managed to do some research of what kind of depression I am suffering. It is called Atypical depression The first time it happened to me was the starting of adolescence. My parents got into a divorce. I couldn't find a person around my friends that had a similar effect I was going through. (being an only child and having no one to turn to) It was a pain to go to school everyday crying and not telling anyone what was wrong with me. Not even a friend, could have asked or helped me out. I was too scared to ask a teacher or even a counselor to help me out. Plus, I didn't bother asking my parents for help because they were going through divorce. The teasing and torment of bullies who come up to me and asking, "Why are you crying?" There were times I ignore them, but I wanted to tell someone that these bullies were tormenting me. Then it would have made me a snitch if I did tell. I would cry my eyes out because I felt like a curse, a jinx or a hex that someone put me on. In addition, during the process of depression, I gained about 60 pounds from eating a lot of food and it was my comfort. Also, I would lie about how I felt even though I was down on the inside, whereas the outside layer was a joke. I did manage to get out of that stage within the 6 months while attending school, but it left me to be shy for the remaining years to come. Other times that I have suffered depression were in high school. I felt lonely during that time and I did manage to get my revenge on one of the bullies that was bothering me.
I am ashamed what depression has caused me to be. I've been seeking help to get me back on the right track. I am slowing tearing my layers of shyness and regaining my strength of being the person I wanted to become. As for my depression, I am getting better.